Editing for better editorial flow
This sample shows the first two heading levels from a privacy policy for a major website. After reviewing the material, HealthEdit determined that the policy could be better understood by the reader if it was organized differently, with similar content grouped under headings. The writing (not shown here) was largely quite good, so little editing was done other than making the voice and terminology more consistent. (Not all edits are highlighted.)
Hold your cursor over a highlighted phrase to view why and where changes were made. (Netscape users may not see this action.)
BEFORE
How we use the information we collect
Why we ask you to register
Opt-in procedures
Survey and contest participation
Special offers for registered users
Order fulfillment
How we use cookies
What log files tell us
Participation in public forums
Sharing information with third parties
Links to other sites
Content from third parties
Security safeguards
Receiving site updates
Correcting your personal information
Changes to this policy
Contacting the Web site
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AFTER
Overview
Registration
Opt-in procedures
Participating in surveys and contests
Participating in public forums
Special offers for members
Order fulfillment
Using your information
Sharing information with third parties
Using cookies
Gathering other data
Links to other sites
Content from third parties
Correcting your personal information
Security and updates
Receiving site updates
Changes to this policy
Contacting [website name here]
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You can also view a sample of light editing, more extensive editing, or editing bulleted content for a PowerPoint presentation.
View our editorial project management skills or contact HealthEdit for more information.
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